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Subject: Funnnnnnny SmS
Replies: 80 Views: 885
1faisal1 3.08.14 - 03:44pm
husband: meri l0ttery lagi tu tum kya kar0gi?
Wife: aadhy paisy le k hamesha k liye maiky chali jaungi.
Husband: 500 ki lagi hai
ay ly 250 te jutti pa.. Shabash *
1faisal1 3.08.14 - 04:06pm
Larki:
d0ct0r sahib mere dil men b0hat dard h0 raha hai..,
d0ct0r:
dard dil0n k kam h0 jatay,
main aur tum agr hum h0 jatay..?
*
1faisal1 17.08.14 - 03:15pm
ULLU Ajeeb parinda hai:
duniya isk0 nakara samjhti hai
is men aqal nahi h0ti
magar is ki himmat dekh0
ye
SMS kitny gh0r se parh raha hai
l0 jee bisti h0gai
pakistan ka sab se bara bewaq00f insan k0n hai??
Ye jan'nay k liye daikhiye aaj raat theek 2 baje
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sheesha
hahahahahaha
phir bisti.
*
acmi 20.08.14 - 04:26pm
Ek khubsurat larki k liye 4 lark0n k rishte aaye.
Har larke ne usey apne baare men yun bataya.
1st LARKA
Main PIA pil0t hun. Tumhen puri duniya ki sair karaun ga.
Larki khush h0 gaee.
2nd LARKA
Main business man hun.
Tumhare 10 bank acc0unt khulwa dun ga.
Larki aur b khush h0 gaee.
3rd LARKA
Main ek sunaar hun. Tumhen puri duniya ka s0na dila dun ga.
Larki buhat zayada khush h0 gaee.
4rd LARKA
Mujh se shadi karl0 kyun k mere ghar light nain jaati.
LARKI.
Qabul hai,
Qabul hai,
Qabul hai.. *
acmi 26.08.14 - 05:33pm
1 engineer k0 j0b na mili t0 usne clinic kh0la aur bahar likha k 300 men elaaj karaein
Elaj na hua t0 1000 wapis.
1 admi ne s0cha k 1000 kamany ka acha m0qa hy
w0 clinic aaya aur kaha mujhy kisi b cheez ka zaiqa ni aata
Dr: b0x22 se dawa nikal0 aur isk0 3 dr0ps pila0
nurse ne pila di
Mareez: ye kya. Ye t0 petr0l hy
Dr: mubarak h0 apk0 taste mehsus h0gaya la0 300
mareez k0 kafi ghusa aaya
kuch din baad w0 phir gaya k ab Dr se purany paise b wapis lene hen
Mareez: Dr saab, meri yadasht kaam ni karti
Dr: b0x22 se dawa nikal0 aur 3 dr0ps pila0
Mareez: lekin w0 dawa t0 zaban k taste ki hy
Dr: mubarak h0 apki yadasht b wapas aagye la0 300.. *
1faisal1 31.08.14 - 02:55pm
kanj00s b0y l0ve with kanj00s girl.
GIRL:
jab papa s0 jayenge t0 men gali men sikka phenk0n gi awaz sun kar f0ran andar aa jana.
Lekin b0y sikka phenkny k 1 ghante bad aya.
GIRL:
itni der kyun laga di.?
B0Y:
w0 men sikka dh00nd raha tha...
GIRL:
pagal w0 dhaaga bandh k phenka tha wapis khench liya.. *
1faisal1 31.08.14 - 02:58pm
wife:
par00s wali har saal apne husband k sath 10 din bahar ghumne jati hai
aap kabhi le k gaye..??
Husband:
maine t0 4-5 baar p00cha par w0 maani hi nahi.. *
acmi 5.09.14 - 08:25am
Acha d0st qudrat ki taraf se anmol t0hfa hai.
Iss ki qadar kar0
s0
,,
,,
,,
mera khayal rakha kar0.
Khush Naseeb0000. *
acmi 5.09.14 - 08:28am
Ye sms jin khubsurat lark0n 0r larkiy0n k0 milta hai,
5 sec0nd baad unka m0bile 0ff h0 jata hai..
00:05
00:04
00:03
00:02
00:01
nahi hua?
Khubsurat h0te tu h0 jata na..
Mera t0 2 din tak 0ff raha tha..... *
acmi 5.09.14 - 08:31am
Teacher:
Tumhari zindagi men sab se ziyada kis b00k ne madad ki hai?
Student:
Mere papa ki cheque b00k ne.. *
1faisal1 5.09.14 - 03:57pm
aaj hum apk0 laziz khana banana sikhaty hen..
1) 1 dish men ANG00R rakh len
2) phir dish k0 apne hath men pakren
3) 0r kisi SHEESHE k samne khare h0 jayen
bs dish tyyar h0gai
dish ka NAAM:
LANG00R K HAATH MEN ANG00R... *
1faisal1 13.09.14 - 03:31pm
Jis ne jaldbaazi men shadi ki
usne sara jeevan bigaar liya,
wah wah,
0r
jis ne s0ch samajh k ki
usne k0nsa teer maar liya..
Taaliiiayaaaaaan *
1faisal1 13.09.14 - 03:43pm
1 murghi 0r us k 3 bacchay r0ad cr0ss kar rahy thy
r0ad cr0ss karne k bad murghi k 1 bachy ne kaha
aakhir hum 5 ne r0ad cr0ss kar hi liya.
Ab bata0 5 kaise?
S0ch0
kaise huy?
0r s0ch0 zara
b0hat easy answer hai
th0ra 0r s0ch0
?
S0ch0 na.
Kya h0 gaya,
itna easy sawal hy yar
s0ch0 na
th0ra gh0r t0 kar0 yar
nai samajh aai?
Mujhe pata tha
aap ni samjh sak0 gy
chal0 k0i baat nahi
try t0 kia na,
ab ni samajh aa rahi t0 kia hua
main h00n na
aapki pareshani d0r krne k liye
ghussa kyun h0te h0 batata hun
ab sun0
baccha hai,
kuch b b0l sakta hai.
Hahahahaha. *
acmi 17.09.14 - 03:53pm
Husband & wife b0th died in a car crash.
Husband bec0mes bh00t.
Wife bec0mes dyne.
They b0th meet after s0me time.
Wife:
kitnay change lag rahay h0 bh00t ban kar.
Husband:
par tum bilkul nahi badli...
*
1faisal1 18.09.14 - 03:48pm
Pathan: ye almaari kitne ka hai?
Dukandar: hum pathan0n k0 k0i cheez nahi bechtay.
Pathan after 1 m0nth clean shave aur 3 piece suit pehan kar gaya
ye almaari kitny ka hai?
Dukandar: hum pathan0n k0 cheezen nahi bechtay.
After 2 m0nths full angrez ban k gaya
what's the c0st 0f that almaari
dukandar: hum pathan0n k0 cheezen nahi bechtay
pathan gussay me: tujhe kaise pata chal jata hai k main pathan hun?
Dukandar:
kyun k ye almaari nahi
FRIJ hai FRIJ... *
1faisal1 18.09.14 - 04:07pm
friends ball00ns ki tarah h0te hen
1 dafa haath se ch00t jayen t0 wapis nahi aatay
is liye main ne s0cha hai
k
k
k
k
k
k
k
k
aap k0 phusssssss kar k apni jaib men hi rakh l00n. *
1faisal1 20.09.14 - 03:24pm
kisi danishwar ne sach kaha hai
zindagi d0 din ki hai.
Saturday & sunday
baqi din tu banda zaleel 0 kh0war hi h0ta hai. *
acmi 21.09.14 - 01:40pm
1 lafz MUQADDAR hai
Is se larr k dekh0,
Tum haar na ja0 t0 kehna.
1 lafz M0HABBAT hai
Isay kar k dekh0
tum tarap na ja0 t0 kehna
1 lafz WAFA hai
issay kar k t0 dekh0,
tum t00t k bikhar na ja0 t0 kehna
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1 lafz EASY L0AD hai
mere number par kra k t0 dekh0
tum k0 gussa na aaye t0 kehna. *
acmi 23.09.14 - 03:51pm
J0 h0gia w0 h0gia
j0 h0na h0ga w0 h0ga
0r j0 nahi h0na hai w0 nahi h0ga
kyun k
j0 h0na hai w0 t0 h0ga hi h0ga.
Ab dekhna hai k kia h0ga
0r kia nahi h0ga?
H0ny k0 t0 kuch b h0ga
yehi s0chna hai k kia h0ga??
0r
thek nahi h0ga t0 kuch kesy thek h0ga?
Ab aap hi bata0 k aagy kia h0ga?
Kisi 0r k0 aap b bejh0 acha time pas h0ga
nahi h0ga t0 w0 pagal zar00r h0ga
0r agar pagal b na h0ga t0 ye sms delete zarur h0ga
kyun k is ka anjam kuch na kuch t0 zar00r h0ga
sir me dard h0ga ya nahi h0ga
bher haal j0 b h0ga w0 t0 lazmi h0ga.. *
1faisal1 27.09.14 - 03:46pm
wafa ka naam na l0 faraz
wafa buhat dil dukhati hai
wafa ka naam lete hi mujhy bewafa
s0bia
kinza
samia
abeera
sana
maha
taiba
z0ya
a
farah
s0fia
laiba
laila
huma
hamna
jiya
0r
ur00j
mehwish
maira
maliha
0mera
sania
hafsa
f0zia
ferwa
maryam
nadia
haniya
hina
hira
amna
anam
meera
razia
gulnaz
salma
farah
umama
aima
afia
r0qqeya
alia
fatma
saba
0r
jaweria
0r
zeenat ki yaad aa jati hai..
*
1faisal1 27.09.14 - 03:51pm
abhi jahaz runway par d0rr hi raha tha k pathan ne pil0t k0 thappar mara 0r b0la,
hamein dair h0 rahi hai aur tu by r0ad ja raha hai. *
1faisal1 27.09.14 - 03:54pm
nikah k din wife:
aaj aap buhat udaas lag rahy hen???
Husband:
aaj meri maa 0r meri behen ki larai h0 gai hai,
2n0 alag hu gai hen
wife:
k0i baat nahi ab main aa gayi hun na
main apki maa behen 1 kar dungi. *
acmi 28.09.14 - 09:35am
Tareekhi Msg
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Aaj 28 Tareekh hai..
Hahahaha.. *
acmi 28.09.14 - 09:41am
Meri har khata k0 yehi s0ch kar maaf kar dena d0st0n,
k
tum mera kuch bhi nahi bigaar sakte..
Khulli badmaashi *
1faisal1 28.09.14 - 02:31pm
pappu ne live radi0 stati0n call ki
hell0... Ji ye radi0 stati0n hai?
RJ: ji haan
pappu: meri awaaz pura shehar sun raha hai?
RJ: haan
pappu: yani ghar men j0 meri behan radi0 sunn rahi hai..w0 bhi sunn rahi h0gi?
RJ: ghusse me: haaaan bai haan
pappu: hell0 bill0! Agar meri awaz sunn rahi hai t0h jaldi se m0t0r chala de..
Main uper chhat par t0ilet men hun aur paani khatam h0 gaya hai.. *
1faisal1 5.10.14 - 03:44pm
ek pathan k0 k0i m0bile pe tang karta tha
pathan ne new sim kharid lar usay message kia
main ne w0 number band kar dia hai
ab tera baap bhi mujhy tang nahi kar sakta. *
acmi 6.10.14 - 05:29pm
Pathan apne bazu pe blade se mangeter ka naam likh raha tha
k
achanak z0r z0r se r0ne laga
D0st: pyaar karty h0 t0 r0ta kyun h0?
Pathan: spelling ghalat h0 gye
shehnaz sharif ki jaga shehbaz sharif likh diya..
*
acmi 8.10.14 - 07:36am
Punjabi U.K gaya.
Airp0rt 0fficer ne naam pucha
Punjabi: umar daraz bhatti
0fficer: english men b0l0
punjabi kuch dair s0chne k baad:
L0ng Life 0ven
0fficer: hahaha
peeche 1 sikh khara tha w0 b0la:
I m Beautiful red underwear
0fficer: what?
Sikh: mera naam hai sundar laal chadda.. *
acmi 8.10.14 - 07:39am
Us bewafa ki yaad men jaam haath0n men utha liya
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phir lagaya bread par aur fatafat kha lia.
Bewafai ka dukh apni jaga
sukh apni jaga.. *
1faisal1 11.10.14 - 03:46pm
2 sardar were fixing a b0mb in a car.
Sardar 1: what w0uld y0u d0 if the b0mb expl0des while fixing.
Sardar 2: d0nt w0rry,
i have a 0ne m0re.. *
1faisal1 11.10.14 - 03:55pm
aadmi:
aap bakre k0 kia khilate h0?
Pathan:
kaalay k0 ya sufaid k0?
Aadmi: sufaid k0
pathan: ghaas
aadmi: aur kaale k0?
Pathan: usay b ghaas
aadmi: inhen bandhte kahan h0?
Pathan: kisy kalay k0 ya sufaid k0?
Aadmi: sufaid k0
pathan: kamre men
aadmi: aur kaaly k0?
Pathan: usay b kamre men
aadmi: aur nehlate kesy h0?
Pathan: kisy kaaly k0 ya sufaid k0?
Aadmi: kaale k0
pathan: pani se
aadmi: aur sufaid k0?
Pathan: usay b pani se
aadmi ghussy se: abay jab 2n0 k sath 1 jesa saluk karta hy t0 bar bar ye q puchta hai k kaaly k0 ya sufaid k0?
Pathan: kyun k sufaid mera hai
aadmi 0r kala?
Pathan: w0 b mera hai.. *
1faisal1 11.10.14 - 04:05pm
pathan dukan wale se 0r janab kese h0
dukan wala: bas aapki dua chahiye
pathan: w0 hum tum k0 nahi dega
dukan wala: magar kyun?
Pathan: kyun k dua abi 12 saal ki hai. *
1faisal1 15.10.14 - 04:25pm
wife: sun0 g
jis m0lvi ne hamara nikah parhaya tha w0 aaj f0ut h0 gaya hai
husband: bas g,
buray kaam ka bura anjaam.. *
1faisal1 15.10.14 - 04:28pm
1 shadi men m0lvi aur uska d0st sath beth gaye.
Chaawal k sath full r0ast murgha b rakha giya
m0lvi ne dekha k murgha d0st ki taraf tha 0r chawal m0lvi ki taraf
t0 usne tray ghuma kar murgha apni taraf kar liya
d0st: yeh kya kar rahay h0?
M0lvi: maaf karna, iski tangain qiblay ki taraf theen.. *
acmi 17.10.14 - 03:45pm
Aadmi marty waqt apni BV se:
Naseema mujhy maaf kar dena,
almari men se tera g0ld ka set main ne hi ch0ri kia tha
BV r0te hue: k0i baat nahi
Aadmi: aur w0 tere bhai ne tujhe amanat di thi 1 lakh rupe w0 b main ne hi ghayab ki thi
Naseema: main ne aapk0 maaf kia
Aadmi: aur teri c0mmetti k paise b kisi 0r ne nahi, main ne hi churi kiye thy
Naseema: k0i baat nahi
aap b mujhy maaf kar dena,
aapk0 zeher b main ne hi dia hai..
*
acmi 26.10.14 - 05:05am
Budha budhi ki kahani
1 budha aya 7 men 1 budiiya laya
h0tel me ja k waiter k0 bulaya
d0n0 ne apna apna 0rder mangaya
pehle budhe ne khaya budhiya ne pankha hilaya
phir budhiya ne khaya budhe ne pankha hilaya
ye dekh k waiter sharmaya 0r usne farmaya
ae laila majnu k maa baap tum d0n0 men itna pyar hy t0 khana 1 saath q nahi khaya
is par budhe ne farmaya jaani tera sawal t0 nek hai
par hamare pas daant0 ka set sirf eik hai.. *
acmi 26.10.14 - 05:22am
BADLA
Pappu ki girlfriend ne usay khat likha,
meri life men naya larka aa gaya hai, tum se acha hai, main uski dulhan banu gi..
Meri picture wapis bijhwa d0.
Pappu ne apny sary friends ki girlfriends ki 30 pictures jama ki
bech mein uski pic rakh k khat likha,
l0 in mein se nikal l0,
mujhy tumhari shakal yaad nahi.. *
acmi 26.10.14 - 05:37am
Sad st0ry:
Eik bar ek husband k0 uski wife ne pucha k main agar 4-5 din na dikhu t0 aapk0 accha lagega?
Husband ek dum se mun hi mun men khush h0ne laga
aur usse raha nahi gaya 0r b0l diya haan accha lagega.
Phir t0h wife,
M0nday na dikhi,
Tuesday na dikhi,
Wednesday na dikhi,
Thursday k0 b na dikhi,
0r finally
Friday k0 jab ankh0n ki sujan kam hue phir th0ri th0ri dikhne lagi. *
1faisal1 27.10.14 - 02:33pm
dil t0 kehta hai k ch0r ja0n ye duniya
magar
phir khayal aata hai k
duniya men pehle hi achy l0g kam hen 1 aur kam h0 jaye ga,
na G na pr0gram cancel. *
1faisal1 27.10.14 - 02:39pm
pathan ne paper k liye my best friend ka mazmun yaad kiya lekin
paper men my father py mazmun aa gaya.
Ab uss ne s0cha k w0hi mazmun likhta h0n,
lekin d0st ki jagah abbu likh d0nga.
Ab mazmun kuch yun hua.
Zindagi men b0hat se abbu milty hen lekin achy abbu buhat kam h0ty hen.
Mere 10 abbu hen lekin mera sab se acha abbu gul khan hai.
W0 mere ghar r0z aata hai meri ammi b usy bht pasand karti hen.
W0 b meri ammi se b0hat pyar karta hai.w0 mujhy bht acha lagta hy. Mujhy apne best abbu gul khan pe fakhar hai meri k0shish hai k aagy b jitny mere abbu h0n w0 gul khan jaise hi h0n. *
1faisal1 29.10.14 - 03:42pm
b0y- tumhen kab suk00n milta hai
girl- jab tum se milti h0n tum se baatein karti h0n jab tum mere saamny h0ty h0 tab mujhy suk00n milta hai
girl- tumhen kab suk00n milta hai?
B0y- maaf krna jan00 main jab tak subha utth kar p0ti na kar l0n mujhy suk00n nhi milta. *
1faisal1 29.10.14 - 03:49pm
wife: jab main tum par ghussa karti h0n tu tum apna ghusa kahan nikalte h0?
Darp0k husband:
T0ILET saaf kar k
wife hanste huye: kese saaf karte h0
husband: tumhare t00th brush se. *
acmi 8.11.14 - 04:26pm
Bhengi wife:
Meri aankhein aishwarya se milti hen na?
Husband tarap k:
kambkhat, ye aapas mein nhi milti,
Aishwarya se kia khaak milyn gi?
*
acmi 11.11.14 - 02:59pm
Class men miss ne kaha j0 begherat hai w0 khara h0 jaye
1 pathan khara h0 gaya
Miss: tum begherat h0?
Pathan:
Nahi.. Aap akeli khari thi t0 mujhe acha nahi laga.
*
1faisal1 17.11.14 - 02:08pm
dil ne kaha d0st0n k0 sms kar0
phir s0cha dil t0 pagal hai
phir khayal aaya sms kar hi d0un
dil pagal hai t0 d0st k0n se M.B.B.S d0ct0r hen. *
1faisal1 17.11.14 - 02:10pm
jab k0i yaad nahi karta
itna gussa aata hai, dil t0 chahta hy
chapal utaar k
aram se beth ja0n 0r s0ch0n,
shayad balance nahi h0ga. *
1faisal1 21.11.14 - 02:39pm
pathan apne betay se:
beta tum sher ka bacha hai aur w0 sher hum hai.
S0n:
baba sch00l men miss b yhi b0lti hai
tum kisi janwar ki aulaad h0. *
1faisal1 27.11.14 - 03:20pm
what is care???
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Care is the name 0f h0ney l0ti0n f0r dry skin..
D0nt be em0ti0nal..!
Be l0ti0nal.. *
acmi 1.12.14 - 03:13pm
Pathan ki amma mar gaye.
1 behan b0li..
Amma mujhy b le jati..
2 0r bhai b b0ley, Amma humein b le jati..
Pathan..
Chup h0 ja0 kamin0,
Amma kya suzuki kar k gye hai??
*
acmi 9.12.14 - 02:09pm
Larki:
Par0s wala larka mujhy r0z kiss kar k bhag jata hai
Maa hanstay h0ay:
Han beghairat apnay baap pe gaya hai.. *
acmi 11.12.14 - 03:06pm
Pathan ny ghar ka drwaza ukhara aur kandhy py rakh k bazar men gaya.
1 admi ne p00cha khan kia drwaza baichna hai?
Pathan: nahi tala khulwana hai, chabi gum h0 gai hai.
Admi pathan se:
agar ghar men ch0r ghus gaye t0?
Pathan:
andar kaisy jai ga drwaza t0 humare pas hai...
*
